Why do we stop loving? Why does a powerful feeling that unites us suddenly fade into oblivion? Does love have an expiration date? a mere illusion?
Every feeling associated with a person ends up being extinguished since what we usually feel for another person is often influenced by our most basic instincts. At the service of selfish genes that simply and simply seek to replicate and transcend.
Our feelings, our emotions are often the product of internal oscillations, which will not remain over time.
Which perhaps implies that what we conceptualize as love is just a manifestation of falling in love.
And the latter ends, expires, it is not infinite but ends at some point.
What can end the emotions;
Love as such is not just a cocktail of synaptic reactions in our brain, it composes the will of two people to keep that incentive alive. While they must use their efforts, time and creativity to make the relationship work, and far from being dopamine sleepy prey, love is about will.
When love ends, what really ends is the will to continue. It is the neglect of a relationship that arose only motivated by the emotions it offers, but without there being a real life project.
When we allow ourselves to be fooled by emotions, without something more transcendental than emotion exists between us and the other person. That relationship is then already destined to die at a given moment, day and hour.
Being captives of our emotions we can remain trapped by the caresses of another person. And in short our partner is Controlled by furtive emotions, it can become attracted to another person and let itself be delivered by those emotions and think: “what I feel is love.”
The reality is that love goes beyond being just a manifestation of our consciousness or mere brain processes. It is the construct of a future alongside a person who really fits in our lives, as we fit in hers.
Love is a joint project
Not only is it enough with how you feel, but how healthy you are when you love. The significance of a relationship lies in the rational meaning that it has , as well as the emotional and passionate meaning it offers.
Whereas we have to ask ourselves if the other person shares with us the same values, or at least the majority. If it has a vision compatible with ours, what does it bring us, what negatives it has that we have to deal with, where will the relationship go in 10 or 20 years.
Assessing the relationship and understanding what it means to us will give us the fuel we need to make it work and last .
If a relationship is just emotion, then it will only become one more story of many or few who adore our bedroom. Thus we must accept that certain people are destined to love us but not to stay with us.