Have you been trying for a long time to understand why your last Romantic Stages of breakup hurts so much?
Perhaps, right now, you feel that you are going through a pain that slowly consumes you, you carry an emotional emptiness that sometimes leads you to live at war with yourself.
Sometimes you wonder what you did wrong to make that relationship stop working. There you are, feeling guilty for that which is no longer part of your day to day. You feel that that person took your life with their departure and you know that it is not like that.
You look for logic to understand that emotional grief that you have been feeling for a long time and even if you think it shouldn’t hurt, it hurts.
Today one of the most widely discussed topics in psychology is how to rebuild after a breakup. For some people it is easier to assimilate that something stopped working, they look for how to channel that pain and not remain sunk in sadness.
Then we find the other side of the coin, people who emotionally do not have the strength and much less desire to assimilate an end that they never saw in their relationships. Why does this happen?
A sentimental separation always hurts . And that pain will depend on what were the causes of that break, the attempts that both made so that end did not come and how they said goodbye to the relationship.
Heartbreak can be overcome when we take responsibility for the emotional wounds that we carry inside, when we stop looking for the guilty and put aside the role of victims.
Stages of breakup
Stages of breakup are Duels and perhaps the most painful because there we do not have to say goodbye to a body, or do a ritual of a funeral. But rather to some feelings that we carry inside.
Duels, whether physical or emotional, have their stages. If you think that this pain will be eternal, let me tell you no, from this like everything in life we also recover.
Loss
Here we are feeling filled with the following emotions; anger, sadness, anger, fear and surprise.
So It is the stage to analyze what we will do now with our life without that person. It is the process of assimilating a loss and changing old habits that we usually do with our ex-partner.
In short, it is the REINVENTING stage . It is the stage where the denial becomes present, where we do not want to accept the break at all.
At this stage we tend to easily fall into humiliation, where we do everything possible to retain the person who has decided to leave our lives.
Hopelessness
It is the most unpleasant stage, it is the process where we can easily fall into a depressive picture, self-esteem goes on vacation.
Emotionally we are not stable. Negative thoughts take center stage “I will never be lucky in love” “I am not going to love anyone so much” “Love hurts” these thoughts lead us to close ourselves in our pain and not seek help if we need it .
We have to be careful with this stage, it can unconsciously lengthen our emotional grief.
The most common and a mistake that many of us make in this situation, is not WANTING to accept that this break has no turning back.
Anxiety
It is the stage of continuing to idealize the ex-partner. We keep remembering how happy we were in the relationship, the pleasant moments that we got to share.
It is the process of letting go of what has stopped working and living in the present. This is where we do not stop talking about the ex-partner. We want to tell why the breakup happened, it is to show that we are still hurt because of that it stopped working.
It is the phase where for our inner peace we NEED to maintain contact or with the ex-partner. It is the only tool we have to heal completely.
Acceptance
After seeing that time has passed and that nothing has changed, we realize that it is time to let go of your ex altogether.
It is the phase where we begin to rebuild our life without that person. We are already aware of what we really deserve and we do not live waiting for that person to return to our life. It is the stage where we are free from the past.
Recommendation for this stage:
Enjoy this process of being with you to the fullest. You are the most important relationship. And now it’s your priority We have many things to enjoy without partners, traveling, meeting new people, learning a new language. It is the time to pay off the emotional debts that we have with us.
Overcoming
VICTORY! It is the most important phase, it is where you can talk about your breakup and not cry about it. At this stage we are aware of the mistakes we made in our last relationship, we are more sensible to know what kind of relationship we want from now on.
It is the stage where we no longer want to look for culprits. The grudge is gone and we can see the ex without any regrets.
The stages of breakup can change order, but we will always have to go through them to rebuild our life after a breakup .
It is not an easy process sometimes it costs a lot to be able to leave one stage and move on to the next. For this I recommend you not to get sunk in that pain, look for a support group and start to establish new habits in your life.
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