the 5 emotional wounds in life
the 5 emotional wounds in life

Refusal, abandonment, humiliation, betrayal and  injustice  are the wounds that prevent us from being ourselves.

When we are born we all, without exception, have the same mission: to live experiences to be able to evolve.

As long as a situation is lived in non-acceptance, in the sense of guilt, in judgment, in fear, the human being will continue to attract circumstances and people who will make him relive that same experience.

This is the path that our Soul has chosen to be able to evolve, to resolve conflicts that it brings with it from other incarnations.

This life therefore represents the best opportunity to resolve these situations and finally be able to continue on his path of Love.

Refusal, abandonment, humiliation, betrayal and  injustice  are the wounds that prevent us from being ourselves, they condition us as they cast a shadow over our life by preventing us from seeing the true purpose of our existence.

They determine many aspects of our character because, to survive these wounds, we react by wearing  masks  that allow us not to relive that pain.

We only wear the mask when we want to protect ourselves.

Wounds and masks are closely linked.

The inner wound can be compared to a physical wound that has been present for some time and has been neglected to heal.

The wound of Refusal

emotional wound of Rejection

Characteristics of the Refusal wound

AWAKENING OF THE WOUND: From conception to one year of age. Not feeling entitled to exist with the parent of the same sex.

MASK: Fugitive.

BODY: Contracted, skimpy, thin or fragmented.

EYES: Small, with an expression of fear or with the impression that there is a mask around the eyes.

VOCABULARY: “a nullity, nothing, non-existent, disappear”

CHARACTER: Detached from material things, perfectionist, intellectual, goes through phases of great love alternating with deep hatred. He doesn’t believe he has the right to exist; sexual difficulties. It is believed to be an absolute zero, without value. Look for solitude; evanescent, it has the ability to make itself invisible. Find various ways to escape; easily exiles on the imaginary plane. He believes himself misunderstood; difficulty in letting one’s inner child live.


NUTRITION : Emotions or fear take away their appetite. Small portions. To escape: sugar, alcohol or drugs. Predisposed to anorexia.

POSSIBLE DISEASES: Skin, diarrhea, arrhythmia, cancer, respiratory problems, allergies, vomiting, fainting, coma, hypoglycemia, diabetes, suicidal depression, psychosis.

Observations that serve to highlight the behavioral differences related to the Refusal wound

Observations that serve to highlight the behavioral differences related to the mask.
The fugitive has a dull, weak voice. He doesn’t particularly like dance. When she dances, she moves little, in an evanescent way, so as not to be noticed. What emanates from it is a “don’t look at me too much”;

The fugitive prefers a car with dark colors, which goes unnoticed. You can apply this feature to other categories of purchases, in addition to the way you dress;

The fugitive shrinks in his chair and likes a lot to hide his feet under his thighs. Since it is not rooted in the earth, it can then more easily escape;
When the REFUSAL wound is activated, the fugitive’s mask is put on.

This makes you want to escape from the situation or from the person who believes you are responsible for the rejection, for fear of panicking and feeling helpless.

Such a mask can also convince the person to become as invisible as possible, withdrawing into himself, not saying or doing anything that would cause him to be more rejected by the other.

This mask makes the wearer believe that he is not important enough to take his rightful place, that he has no right to exist like everyone else.

The fugitive implies that he takes care of himself and of others, in order not to feel the various rejections experienced.

The person who suffers from rejection feeds his wound every time he gives himself the incompetent, the good for nothing, who thinks he is completely useless in the life of others and every time he runs away from a situation.


abandonment wound1

The characteristics of the abandonment wounds

AWAKENING OF THE WOUND: between the first and third year of age with the parent of the opposite sex. Lack of emotional nourishment or the kind of nourishment desired.

MASK: employee.

BODY: elongated, thin, hypotonic, limp, weak legs, hunched back, arms that seem too long and hang down the body, saggy or flabby body parts.
Eyes: big, sad.

LOOK: magnetic.

VOCABULARY: “absent”, “alone”, “I can’t stand”, “they eat me”, “they are breathing down my neck”.

CHARACTER: Victim. Empathetic. A need for presence, for attention, especially for support. Difficulty making or deciding something on your own. He asks for advice which he does not necessarily follow. Childish voice. Difficulty hearing no (accepting rejection). Sadness. He cries easily. Attract pity. One day it is cheerful, one day it is sad. He physically clings to others. Psychic. Protagonist. He wants independence. He likes sex.

MAXIMUM FEAR: Loneliness.

FEEDING: A good fork. Bulimic, he likes soft foods. Eat slowly.

POSSIBLE DISEASES: Back problems, asthma, bronchitis, migraine, hypoglycemia, agoraphobia, diabetes, adrenal glands, myopia, hysteria, depression, rare diseases that attract more attention, incurable diseases.

Observations that serve to highlight the behavioral differences related to the abandonment wounds

The employee uses a childish voice and a plaintive tone.

The employee prefers dances that involve physical contact, so that he can glue himself to the partner. Sometimes it seems to him that he is hanging on to the other; what emanates from him is a “look how my partner loves me”;

The employee prefers a comfortable car, different from the norm. This feature can also be applied to other categories of purchases, as well as to the way of dressing;

The employee sinks into the armchair or chair, or leans on something, for example the arm of the neighboring chair or the back of his own.

The upper back is tilted forward.

When the ABANDONMENT wound is activated, the employee’s mask is put on. It makes the person like a small child in need of attention that he seeks by crying, complaining, or submitting to what happens, as he believes he cannot do it alone.

Such a mask does the impossible to avoid being dropped or to get more attention. He may even convince himself to fall ill, or become a victim of various problems, in order to get the support or support he seeks.

The employee likes to be independent and tell those who listen to him how well he is alone, and that he doesn’t need anyone.

The person who suffers from abandonment feeds his wound every time he abandons a project that was close to his heart, every time he lets himself go, doesn’t care enough for himself, doesn’t give himself the attention he needs.

She scares others by clinging to them too much, and in doing so she tries her best to lose them, finding herself alone again.

He makes his body suffer a lot, creating diseases for himself in order to attract attention.


emotional wound of Humiliation

The characteristics of the humiliation wounds

AWAKENING OF THE WOUND: Between the first and third year, with the parent who took care of the physical development. It is usually the mother. Lack of freedom. Feeling humiliated by this parent’s control.

MASK: Masochist.

BODY: Large, round, not very tall, thick and swollen neck, tension in the neck, throat, jaws and pelvis. Round, open face.

Eyes: large, round, wide open and innocent, like a child’s.

VOCABULARY: “to be worthy, unworthy, -ino, -one”.

CHARACTER: Often he is ashamed of himself and others or is afraid that others are ashamed of him. He doesn’t like to go fast. He knows his needs and does not listen to them. It takes on too many things. Maintains control over everything to avoid shame. He believes himself to be a “filthy”, heartless, or at least insignificant compared to others. Empathic, he tries his best not to be free, as “being free” means “unlimited.” If he is limitless, he is afraid of overflowing. Play mom. Hypersensitive He punishes himself, believing he is punishing the other. He wants to be worthy. Feel a sense of disgust. He is sexually ashamed, is sensual and does not listen to his own sexual needs. He compensates and gratifies himself with food.


DIET: He likes fatty foods, chocolate He is bulimic, or he eats many small portions. Feel ashamed of appearing or eating candy.

POSSIBLE DISEASES: Back, shoulder, throat complaints, angina, laryngitis, respiratory problems, leg problems, foot, varicose veins, sprains, fractures, liver, thyroid, itchy skin, hypoglycemia, diabetes, heart disease.

Observations that serve to highlight the behavioral differences related to the humiliation wound

The masochist often pretends with his voice that he has feelings, to show interest when he does not feel it.

He has a strong empathy with his mother and does everything he can to make sure she doesn’t feel ashamed of him.

The masochist loves to dance very much, and takes the opportunity to express his sensuality. Dance for the pleasure of dancing; what it emanates is a “look how sensual I can be”;

The masochist chooses a small car, where he feels tight. You can apply this feature to other categories of purchases,

The masochist generally sits with his legs apart. Since he mostly chooses a chair or an armchair that is not suitable for him, it seems to be uncomfortable;

When activating the HUMILIATION wound the masochist mask is put on. This makes you forget your needs so as to think only of those of others and become a “good person”, generous, always ready to be useful, even beyond your own limits.

He makes sure to take on the responsibilities and commitments of people who seem to have difficulty respecting what they have to do, and this even before they ask for it. He does his best to be useful, always not to feel humiliated, belittled. By doing so, he makes sure that he is not free, which would be so important to him. Whenever his action is motivated by the fear of being ashamed of himself or the fear of feeling humiliated, it is a sign that the masochist’s mask is being worn.

The masochist becomes convinced that everything he does for others gives him enormous pleasure and that, by doing it, he truly listens to his own needs. He is very good at saying and thinking that everything is fine, and at making excuses for situations or people that have humiliated him.

Those who suffer from humiliation feed their wound every time they belittle themselves, compare themselves to others by belittling themselves and accuse themselves of being too big, not good, unwilling, a profiteer, and so on.

He humiliates himself by wearing clothes that don’t fit him, and making them dirty. It makes the body suffer by giving it too much food to digest and assimilate.

He makes himself suffer by taking on the responsibilities of others, which deprives him of his freedom and time to decide for himself.

The betrayal wound

emotional wound of betrayal

The characteristics of the betrayal wounds

AWAKENING OF THE WOUND: Between two and four years of age, with the parent of the opposite sex. Breach of trust or unrequited expectations in the love / sexual connection. Handling.

MASK: Controller.

BODY: Exhibits strength and power. In men, shoulders wider than the hips; in women, even wider and stronger than the shoulders, chest out, belly round.

LOOK: Intense and seductive. It captures everything at a glance.

VOCABULARY: Do you understand ?, I’m capable, let me do it alone, I knew, trust me, I don’t trust him ”.

CHARACTER: He believes himself to be very responsible and strong. Try to be special and important. He does not keep his commitments and promises, or he tries hard to keep them. It lies easily. Manipulator, seducer; has a lot of expectations. Mood swings. Convinced that he is right, he tries to convince the other. Impatient, intolerant, understands and acts quickly. It gives excellent performance to get noticed. Comedian. He confides with difficulty. It does not show its vulnerability. Skeptical. Fear of disengagement.

MAXIMUM FEAR: Dissociation, separation, denial.

FEEDING: Enjoy your meal, eat quickly. It adds salt and spices. He is able to control himself when busy, then he loses control.

POSSIBLE DISEASES: Diseases affecting control and loss of control, agoraphobia, spasmophilia, digestive system, diseases ending with the suffix “-itis”, herpes in the mouth.

Observations that serve to highlight the behavioral differences related to the betrayal wound

The controller has a strong voice, which can be heard from a distance

The controller takes up a lot of space. He likes to dance and takes advantage of it to seduce. Above all, it gives him an opportunity to be watched. What emanates from it is a “look at me”;

The controller buys a powerful machine, which will be noticed. You can apply this feature to other categories of purchases, as well as to your way of dressing;

The controller sits leaning his torso back, with his arms crossed when listening. When he is speaking, he leans forward to better convince his interlocutor.

When one experiences the betrayal wound, one wears the mask of the controller that makes one become suspicious, skeptical, on guard, authoritarian and intolerant, due to the expectations that are nurtured.

The controller does everything to prove that he is a strong person, one of those who do not allow themselves to be easily fooled, especially who do not allow themselves to be influenced by others. This mask does amazing things to avoid losing reputation, even to the point of lying.

The controller forgets his own needs, and does what he does to make others think he is reliable, a person they can trust.

This mask causes the controller to project a facade of a self-confident person, even if he doesn’t really have confidence in himself, and often questions his decisions or actions.

The controller is convinced that he never lies, that he always keeps his word, and that he is not afraid of anyone.

Those who suffer from betrayal feed this wound by lying to themselves, giving themselves to believing false things and not keeping the commitments they have made with themselves.

He punishes himself by doing everything himself, because he doesn’t trust others and doesn’t delegate anything.

He is so intent on verifying what others are doing that he deprives himself of the time to devote to himself.

The wounds of INJUSTICE

Injustice wound

The characteristics of the injustice wounds

AWAKENING OF THE WOUND: between four and six years of age, with the parent of the same sex. Having to deliver high performance and being perfect. Block of individuality.

MASK: rigid.

BODY: straight, rigid and as perfect as possible. Well proportioned. Round buttocks, small waist, tightened by dresses and belt. Stiff movements, fair skin, tight jaw, stiff neck, straight and proud posture.

LOOK: bright and lively, clear ..

VOCABULARY: “no problem, always / never, very good / very good, very special, juxtaposed, exactly, definitely, okay?”

CHARACTER:perfectionist, envious, he cuts ties with his feelings. Cross your arms often. It delivers performance that aims for perfection. Too optimistic. Lively, dynamic. It justifies a lot. Finds it difficult to ask for help. He can laugh at nothing, to hide his sensitivity. Tone of voice dry and rigid. He does not admit to having problems. He doubts his choices, compares himself with others, the best as well as the worst. Difficulty, in general, in receiving. He finds it unfair to receive less than others, and even more unfair if he receives more of them. Difficulty in indulging in what pleases him without then feeling guilty. He doesn’t respect his own limits, he asks too much of himself. It keeps itself under control. Love order. He rarely gets sick, he is hard on his own body. Choleric. Cold, he has a hard time showing his affection.


DIET: prefers salty foods to sweet ones. He likes anything that is crunchy. It is kept under control so as not to gain weight. He justifies himself and feels ashamed when he loses control.

POSSIBLE DISEASES: Occupational nervous exhaustion, anorgasmia (in women), premature ejaculation or impotence in men. Diseases whose name ends in “-itis”, such as tendonitis, bursitis, arthritis, etc. Stiff neck, constipation, hemorrhoids, cramps, circulation problems, liver problems, varicose veins, skin problems, nervousness, insomnia, visual disturbances.

Observations that serve to highlight the behavioral differences related to the injustice wound

The stiff speaks in a rather mechanical and restrained way;

The stiff man dances very well and has rhythm, despite the stiffness of the legs. Be careful not to be mistaken. He is the one who most often enrolls in a dance class. The super stiff are very serious, they stand up straight and it seems as if they count the steps while dancing. 

What emanates from it is a “look at how well I dance”;
The rigid prefers a classic car, with good performance, because he wants it to match what he has spent.

The rigid sits up straight. He can even tighten his legs against each other, and align them with his body, which will further accentuate the stiffness of his posture. When he crosses his arms, it is in order not to feel what is happening.

When the INJUSTICE wound is activated , the stiff mask is worn, which makes the person cold, sharp and dry both in tone and in movements. Just like the attitude, the body also stiffens. 

This mask also makes those who suffer from it become a great perfectionist, and makes them experience a lot of anger, impatience, criticism, intolerance towards yourself. It is very demanding, and does not respect its limits. Whenever you keep yourself in check, hold back or are hard on yourself, it is a sign that you have put on the mask of the rigid.

The rigid loves to tell everyone how fair he is, how his life is smooth, and he likes to believe that he has many friends who love him as he is. Those who suffer from injustice feed this wound by becoming too demanding of themselves. 

It doesn’t respect its limits, and it imposes a lot of stress. He is unfair to himself because he criticizes himself, and has a hard time seeing his own positive qualities and the good things he does. He suffers when he sees only what has not been done, or only the mistake made. He makes himself suffer by having difficulty in indulging in what pleases him.

Transformation of masks and wound healing


There are more ways in which you can let go of the masks we adopted as children . if you want we can see them together

You will feel, experience and see that:

The wound of Rejection is on the mend when you take more and more of your place, when you dare to assert yourself. Also, if someone seems to forget that you exist, you can still be comfortable. There are far fewer situations in which you fear panicking.

The ABANDONMENT wound is on the mend when you feel good even on your own, and seek less attention from others. Life is less dramatic. You increasingly want to start new projects and you can continue even if others do not support you.

The HUMILIATION wound is on the mend when you take the time to check your needs before saying yes to others. You take on much less, you feel freer. Stop creating boundaries for yourself. You are also capable of asking questions without feeling disturbing, if not a pain in the ass

The betrayal wound is on the mend when you no longer experience so many emotions when someone or something disturbs your plans. You let go more easily. I specify that letting go of it means to stop clinging to the results, to stop wanting everything to happen according to our plans. You no longer try to find yourself in the center of attention. When you are very proud of yourself following your undertaking, you can be at ease even without the recognition of others.

The wound of INJUSTICE is on the mend when you allow yourself to be less of a perfectionist, to make mistakes without getting angry or having a sense of criticism. You allow yourself to show your sensitivity, to cry in front of others, without losing control and without fear of the judgment of others.

Related Articles:

The Price Of Being Unique And Having Self-Esteem After Separation

Learn To Give Your Absence To Those Who Do Not Value Your Presence

For A Person Who Let You Go And Push You Away

Letting Go Of Someone Who Never Did Anything To Stay


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