When a relationship ends, words become scarce and that is why I want to share with you this letter to dedicate to a person who pushed you away and let you go, an emotional letter that will make you feel very identified; identified.
I was always faithful to you until the end, and I looked for you among the rubble of your insecurities.
I made room for you next to mine, to calm your cravings for victimhood and pain. And I snuggled you into a beautiful place so that you would not be a prey to doubt.
I assured you a place by my side, for you to be sheltered and interwoven with me to make us one. I promised you and I still fulfilled you that we would do everything in our power to make the love that united us prevail.
Instead you drowned in the despair of emotions, you became one crystal with your fears, and let yourself be broken by them.
I mended your wounds for you, I healed what had to heal and wrote to your charms how beautiful you were. But no matter what I simply did, I failed to awaken real passion in you.
It wasn’t my fault if the love was over.
I did my part, I did everything between my fingers to make you stay. But I understand that there comes a point where no matter how much I force you to stay. None of that would change the fact that you would end up leaving.
I don’t know why I kept waiting so long, maybe it was your kisses. Maybe it was your caresses or the mere desire to think that you would be the same as long ago.
I do not know if your caresses were already fake, plastic or artificial.
And I never understood the tangled equation of your feelings that seemed to get lost in your hair. Apparently you were treating me like a stranger, when on many occasions I made you feel like a beloved fraternal.
I made you space after space. I made you manifestation after manifestation that my love was sincere, honest, but in the end:
When you miss me remember that I did not leave, you pushed me away
I am not to blame for everything that happened. I want to believe that neither are you, but in the end your attitude my desire to follow your pair.
And that is that sometimes the attitude itself kills more than the distance itself. We were so close without being, supposedly we loved each other without wanting to.
I do not know what failed. If it was that I kept your mistakes, or ignored your qualities. So many illusions that I put in the first syllable of your name. And many times that I asked you to speak to me, and you shut up. You told me that everything was fine, even though your eyes were lying to me.
Do not say or pray prayers about a “maybe”, understand that if you leave or walk away, there is no return. I do not guarantee to be here. You will understand that I cannot stop my world, just because yours is paralyzed. And I cannot understand how things cannot align with each other.
I let go of you, because it is the right thing to do, because my peace of mind asks me to do so and I cannot hold on to whoever has already let me go.
If I could I would love you one more hour, if only in that hour, you will love me as you used to. But now your goodbye is clearer than the white winter snow.
I miss you thinking that you went and you will be the best thing that ever happened to me, and when you miss me remember that I did not leave, you let me go.